Why Do Straight Women Enjoy Watching Lesbian Porn?

This question has been buzzing like crazy in my brain all day, demanding an answer I was worried that I’d never be able to give it. My inner bisexual knew what I wanted the answer to be. “theyreallylikewomentheyreallylikewomentheyreallylikewomen.” It would be more evidence to me that we are, after all, existing on a sexual scale of preference, rather than fixed to a straight/gay binary.

But that felt like an easy answer. It doesn’t seem quite that straightforward. Straight men, for instance, do not watch gay porn. They just don’t. They need some girl-flesh to get off to and watching men do things to men generally makes them squirm, or die inside or something. I’ve been told by men of the world that “guy on guy sex is just “unnatural”, whereas girl on girl is part of the way of the world – because men like to watch it DUH! And so do straight women, apparently. So if the answer is simply that “we’re all a little bit bi, then girls are clearly a little bit more bi than boys; a conclusion that makes very little logical sense.

It’s fairly obvious that men are anxious about their masculinity, and that so much as daring to watch Brokeback Mountain can be perceived as a gay, anti-male threat in many circles. There’s simply no reason for a manly straight man to watch gay porn if he isn’t immediately aroused by it.  And if he is, then then the instant conclusion is, of course, that it’s because he’s a repressed gay(not bi). On the other hand, straight porn is a harder sell to women because representationally it’s … pretty horrible mostly. In terms of power dynamics it’s not only all male fantasy, it more often than not features male dominance and displays of power over women.  Women in porn are mostly fuck toys.  As a woman, it’s not easy to get into a space/frame of mind for being aroused when the person on-screen you identify with is being objectified and shown as dehumanised or subservient.  

If we consider lesbian porn, instead, it’s entirely different. Of course, lesbian porn isn’t actually made for either straight or gay women to enjoy, it’s still a male fantasy game, but no matter how tawdry the onscreen dynamic is still entirely different. Instead of watching a male figure dominating and subduing women, two (or more) women are meeting for sex and pleasuring one another on rather more equal power- terms. How much easier to switch off and feel arousal if there’s at least something onscreen that the woman can identify with  How much more enjoyable. The male in straight porn is so often a little bit threatening, but in lesbian porn that figure has gone.  It may not be that all women are fantasising about fucking the woman onscreen as men are when they watch straight porn.  They may be using the sexual scenario as a way to fuel their own, more abstract, fantasies.

If this is close to correct, does that make straight women free from the potential, horrific curse of being labelled bisexual – are they still being honest with themselves if they call themselves straight? Well, I guess this depends on how one views sex/arousal; I doubt that most women who say this are actually lying, but I think that their language of sexuality and our culture of anti bisexuality suggests to them that the straight box is the one they should fit into. Does saying “I like watching women onscreen, but I wouldn’t go out and have sex with one” mean that you are definitely straight? For me, whatever the reason you’re doing it, surely the fact is that if watching two women having sex arouses you, takes you to a place in which you have erotic thoughts and desires, then you’re aroused by the thought of your own sex.(Do you have to actually have sex with a woman to consider yourself a bisexual woman?) In my mind, that’s still a strong indication that sexuality exists on a continuum, and that what we call ourselves, straight, gay, bi, pan or whatever, we still have the possibility to break free from the constrictions of our language and the boxes it tries to put is in and consider that sex and desire is flexible and more than a little unpredictable. 

21 thoughts on “Why Do Straight Women Enjoy Watching Lesbian Porn?

  1. Why are you so fast to dismiss the idea that bisexuality is more common in women? Many studies have shown exactly that — and denying basic differences between men and women plays into the hands of the haters. I think you hit on other reasons for the “porn gap”, but don’t dismiss the most obvious and beautiful one.

    • Thanks for your comment!

      I’m not dismissing the idea that bisexuality is more common in women at all, but that wasn’t really the question I was asking, since I was interested in why women who identify as straight participate in something that doesn’t, on the surface, strike me as being very “straight”. I was wondering if that was simply denial, or perhaps something else. On that point though, I wonder if women are more inclined towards bisexuality or it’s simply considered more acceptable for women to express it in certain contexts (i.e masculinity finds the idea of FFM threesomes pretty sexy, but not MMF ones)

      I don’t really understand what you mean by saying that denying basic differences plays into the hands of the haters or that this is something “beautiful” or otherwise. Are you saying that men and women are inherently, genetically different, because I don’t agree with that, and neither do I find any beauty in the notion. I find a lot more beauty in the idea of not defining people and allowing them to express their individuality and sexuality regardless of their gender or preconceived societal notions of how we should behave. Apologies if I’ve completely misunderstood you.

    • Many studies have shown the opposite, actually. Just because you find bisexual women “beautiful” and would like every woman to be bi, doesn’t make it so. I have plenty of friends who watch lesbian porn but would never dream of having sex with another woman. The media already perpetrates the idea that most women are bisexual, when this is in fact not true.

      • I would love to have a look at these studies. If I have to wear a label it would be Bi, but that over simplifies it and is another discussion, my point is being Bi I really don’t care if Men are more Bi than woman or the other way. Or maybe I should as that would mean….sorry distracted by the potential. Anyhow, ever thing in our culture for decades has pointed to women being more bi. And I’m not necessarily talking about media directed at men. There’s plenty of media directed toward women with bi and lesbian characters. But who cares, I’m talking about real life! Women go on restroom breaks together, they change clothes in front of one another when they wouldn’t have to, they comment and compliment one another on looks, they touch each other A LOT, they hug and kiss and not always as a greeting or farewell, they dress for one another first for men secondary, it goes on and on and on. Women rarely comment on a guys looks but are always evaluating one another. It’s no secret, but hasn’t been discussed here that men are far more visually impacted sexually then women, but women tend to use there limited visual stimulations on other women. I’ve had many straight women tell me that of course women are more beautiful then men, the curves, the smoothness etc etc. I’m completely aware that it is much much more socially acceptable for a woman to display her attraction to another women without being labeled gay or even Bi. And I totally believe there are millions of men like myself living a perfectly straight life but gobbling up the gay porn in privacy and yearning for opportunities to act these scenes out. Who do you think keeps Playgirl in business ? Ok, just looked at their website? Guess that is an outdated comment as it appears Playgirl, at least the web addition is totally embarrassing gays and fans of gay porn. Gonna wrap this up so I can head back there. Again, not that I care which gender is more Bi, but clearly all evidence points heavily at women. If in all actually it is flipped, then what a sad sad sad statement on how repressed, resented and shamed the male bisexual community is.

  2. The reason why seeing lesbians being sexual with each other arouses men is because (a) sex is about submission, (b) women are usually weaker and more submissive than men, and (c) when a woman submits to another woman she is perceived as even more submissive (relatively speaking) and therefore even more sexual. Men want weak women to prey upon, and lesbian porn gives them just that: the sight of ultra-weak women being preyed upon.

    The root principle of all porn is humiliation, and lesbian porn is even more humiliating than heterosexual porn.

  3. Imagine three scenarios:

    – a woman using a vibrator on herself
    – a woman having a vibrator used on her by another woman
    – a woman having a vibrator used on her by a man

    If competition were an issue, then men should prefer to see the woman by herself, where there is no other person to compete with at all.

    But if humiliation is the driving force, then men should prefer to see the woman submitting to another woman, because submitting to someone who is already perceived as weak is an even greater submission and therefore an even greater humiliation.

  4. Straight women do not watch lesbian porn. Straight men do not masturbate with each other in a group (see the “Philadelphia Jacks”).

    These people are all in denial of their homosexuality/bisexuality.

  5. Male and female porn is concentrated around the male being getting an orgasam. The woman often will not reach orgasam. It is unbalanced and all around the man. Although, i doubt about how real it is all is. Lesiban porn is often less violent than standard male/female porn. I think some women get tired of just seeing men being aroused and then the movie ending.

  6. Wow, all these comment about men liking lesbian porn because it is humiliating for the women is definitely not the case for me. TBH, I’m not too into watching male dominating women. If anything, it would be the opposite. But that’s just me.

  7. Sorry to break it to you but straight men DO watch gay porn. I cant
    send links in here. So just look it up. A gay porn producer once said the majority of his customers are straight men

  8. I consider myself to be a normal male! – however the only porn I like is lesbian porn. I accept that if women like women then its acceptable that men like men.
    Taking my preference s further – I dont like watching lesbians doing anal, doing men, or exhibiting non affectionate sex.
    What I look for is empathy, especially in the person giving pleasure —- a natural smile is the main indication. Healthy conversation is also great — this is the way current lesbian porn is heading!!
    My adversion to men is usaually because men are dominant or emulating women, in which case they dont compare.
    Women are naturally by design soft, thoughtfull and more beautiful than the male. I like lipstick lesbians and hippy lesbians, but i often find it difficult to enjoy watching diesel dykes.
    Sorry to characterise but I believe this is the main basis for womens preferences. Yes they enjoy male sex but i believe they are looking for the basic need for empathy and see that more apparent in lesbian porn.

  9. Doesn’t the popularity of the 50 Shades of Grey snoozefest with women put a little damper on the theory that women enjoy lesbian porn over straight because of the dominance factor? Heck, even my somewhat prudish wife read those books in the secrecy of a Kindle and admitted she kind of yearned for some of that activity.

  10. Straight men watch gay male porn too. and a lot of them. You can look it up.
    So i think you should delete this article, you are only brainwashing people believing something that isnt true. Take 5 minutes of your time and google it if you dont believe me, straight men do watch gay porn. So stop misinforming people.

    • True, i’ve done it before and i don’t consider myself gay. 100% staight.. it was just a whimsical fantasy i had…but the guy had to be really hot! haha Yea this article is garbage

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