She Wakes

She Wakes
(Author’s note: I wrote this attempting to capture a gentler, more sensual moment.)

Her body lies sprawling, naked and peaceful, an erotic adornment to the stark crisp linen of her bed. The dawning sun shyly observes her calm and unmoving beauty, for she lies perfectly still but for the soft regular rise and fall of her small delicate bosom. Strong male hands run lightly across the tips of her breasts and grab hold of her curving hips; a firm cock slides gently inside of her; and she wakes.

The first coy greetings of the morning sun tentatively shine through and brighten the room, illuminating her precious nudity. She yawns, stretches out her arms, and then blearily wipes away the encrusted sleep from her sticky eyes. The bolder rays beam their warmth across her smiling face and neck, bringing welcome heat to the exposed breast, recently cupped so tenderly by the man now thrusting his way deeper and deeper within.

She wakes as the gentle thrusting quickens, intensifies and heats; as the penetrating rays of the sun explode and refract into a light of a thousand beautiful colours; and then it burns and dies. She feels a husky breath on her neck, her warm body is surrounded, cradled in the arms of her lover, and she emerges into the day feeling safe and content. One arm wraps tightly around her, hand playing fondly with her chest, the other gently squeezing downwards on her thigh.  His semi-rigid cock lies pressed up against her ass, while the seed it spilled trickles innocently down her leg. She wriggles, pushes her body onto his, and then giggles sweetly.  She mutters, “I love you,” incoherently before drifting back into sensuous sleep.

The sunlight creeps ever over, caressing her soft, naked skin.

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4 thoughts on “She Wakes

  1. Okay I’ve never written a sex scene, so you already have the advantage over me in terms of bravery, but there are way too many adjectives here for me. Try cutting at least 50% and see how it reads. I find that’s the ratio of cutting needed when I over-write, hope it works for you too.

    • It’s always good to hear another’s opinions, thank you.

      It’s certainly hard to get both the balance and the language right – I guess that’s the real trick isn’t it? I personally think that a 250 word flash story should aim for something a little more poetic in feel and I deliberately wanted the prose to be quite thick and heavy. Sadly, it didn’t work for you …!

      • No problem, we can’t all like everything. Keep writing your thing and take whichever bits of feedback work for what you are doing. I find the shortest flash stories the hardest to write. Don’t know why, seems they should be the easiest!

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