Being Bisexual is Fucking Awesome

Being Bisexual is AWESOME.

This morning I wanted to drop the negativity and the pseudo-intellect for a while and take a moment to reflect on something I feel about living a life as a bisexual person. That is: Being bisexual is fucking awesome. I wanted to share something about my coming out that I never have before and that’s how amazing I felt when I understood certain things about myself and sexuality.

I grew up firmly heterosexual.  That might sound strange to a lot of people, but during my teenage years I had no doubts about myself, no angst, no feeling of not-fitting-in.  I was lucky for not feeling any anxiety about my sexuality: I was less lucky because I was a little homophobic.  It’s good now to feel that I have an understanding of how teenage homophobia works but looking back and putting myself in the shoes of someone who thought gay sex was a little weird and wrong, it’s also a little creepy.

Anyway, I grew up heterosexual, and then I grew up.  I got a boyfriend, went to university, read a lot of books and realised that women were also hot.  I don’t want to dwell too much on the reasons for my change of heart here but it was a gradual change and I eventually opened of my eyes about attitudes, gender and the ways that one could be attracted to another.  To say that this realisation was anything less than amazing would be a massive understatement.  Finally I was throwing off the shackles of my shady childhood homophobia and embracing something completely new and undiscovered.  I was getting off to girls and I loved it! I was apprehensive about telling my boyfriend, though.  We were both still young and had things to learn about one another – what would he think?  Would he embrace the stereotypes?  Would he think me unfaithful, a dirty slut or just plain stupid and confused?  Would he instantly assume that I’d leave him?  Yet he needed to be told, because I’m me and I wanted him to know all about me, and so told he was; though I’m not entirely sure that picking a bout of intense lovemaking was the moment to do it; I absolutely do not recommend trying that one at home, if you’re gonna come out to someone, do them a favour and make them a cup of coffee and sit them down beforehand. “So, I’ve got something to tell you, I think I’m bisexual, I kinda fancy girls.  I know it’s a bit weird..”

“Awesome.  I’m bi too.  I’m glad we got that out in the open.  It makes sense really, doesn’t it?”

It’d be fair to say that the rest of the lovemaking went well.  Strangely enough we didn’t even feel the need to sit down and talk about it, we both knew why the other thought that way and how it felt and what it meant.  The relationship evolved organically around our newly discovered sexuality.  I’ve since told friends and family and no-one really cares.  Maybe that’s just London/UK culture?  I’m not saying there isn’t negativity or phobia in my life, of course, but if we look to the people closest to ourselves then generally I’ve found that there’s more positivity than otherwise. So, I wanted to write this post as a positive note to highlight that challenging your own sexual assumptions can be an incredibly positive and liberating thing and that if you’re with the right people, accepting it is not going to be the awful thing you might initially think.  We hear so many terrible stories about the hell and confusion that people have been through because society creates myths and fears around being gay or bisexual and I wish there were more that could be done to make everyone’s experiences as rewarding as mine have been.  I write fiction these days and I do it because we need a voice; I do my best to make sure the fiction I write challenges both gender assumptions and sexual assumptions, showing sex and women and bisexuality in a positive light, showing that being bisexual is liberating.

Because the truth is, being bisexual is fucking cool.

And it’s cool because: You don’t have to feel that you need to live a certain and way and in accordance with a certain type.  You can be who you want, fancy who you want, sleep with who you want and be the person that you want.

When the world tries so hard to put us in a stereotyped, gendered, sexually predictable boxes, isn’t that the most liberating thought?  I think so.  So, whether you’re openly bi or not, whether you sleep around promiscuously, or fancy others from afar, whether you’re in a committed monogamous relationship or love the single life, take a moment to think that you’re awesome because you’re bi.  And if you’re reading this and you aren’t bi… stop to think that maybe bi people are a little bit awesome for being brave enough to recognise who they are. So, does anyone else have any positive coming out stories to tell? Does anyone else feel liberated through the realisation of their bisexuality?

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5 thoughts on “Being Bisexual is Fucking Awesome

  1. This was brilliant. One of the most unique stories of bisexuality I have heard, so thank you for sharing something new with us. I learned something new today 🙂

  2. Pingback: Born this Way or Shoved Into a Gay Box? | Being the Fantastic Blog of Clara Brooks

  3. Thanks for this. I just recently came out to my friends. All of them were really cool about it except one of my more homophobic friends. She has started bunching me in with lesbians, and I’m not very happy about that. I’ve also just told my crush (who is a straight girl) that I have feelings for her, because I wanted her to know and me not feel awkward. I’m yet to tell my parents though. Again, thank you so much.

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